A bit about myself.
I'm Tonto, it's spanish, i'm not.
I like long soaks in a bubble bath, sometimes I light candles and listen to whale music while enjoying my baths, I like to join in with the whale song too. I can do a near perfect vocal impression of a female blue whale with an injured dorsal fin giving birth.
I am a huge animal lover, I love to fire any kind of animal (except any of the big 5 or giraffes) from a sling I have manufactured in my back garden between two big trees, using the sling i once catapulted a grey squirrel all the way to Norway, granted I had sellotaped a dead magpie to its back with it's wings fixed in flying position with lollypop sticks and there was a strong tailwind, but still, I class that as my record.
My worst life experience was when I was chased by a drug lord in Addis Adaba in Ethiopia. I had recently purchased a vauxhall cavalier from the local car dealer, nice chap, think his name was Linny. Little did I know this cavalier had 2 boxes of UN emergency high protein biscuits in the boot which the drug lord had planked there thinking they would be safe as no one would buy a cavalier. Well these biscuits are as good as money over there so he was not happy and when he found out he tracked me down to the local orphanage where I was selling wham bars to the orphans. We argued on the street, it all got really heated with the locals showing support for this rogue, one old woman even came right up to my my face and spat in it and called me a hokabokidopabok, I decided to vacate the area asap, needless to say the druglord gave chase. I was in my cavalier and he was on a modified Raleigh Chopper with a lawnmower engine attached, hurtling down this desert highway at 7 miles per hour our duel ensued until I reached a UN roadblock and jumped out the car and informed them of this druglords evil plan to appropriate the high protein biscuits, thankfully he done a u turn and headed back down the desert road, his lawnmower engine not sounding healthy at all. I was greeted as a hero by the UN guys, they were really sound and the commander informed the higher ups in the UN about my humanity and I ended up being flown to New York where I was officially awarded the United Nations medal of honour.
Well thats really all lads, any questions just ask. Oh i'm also bi-sexual and support Morton.
I'm Tonto, it's spanish, i'm not.
I like long soaks in a bubble bath, sometimes I light candles and listen to whale music while enjoying my baths, I like to join in with the whale song too. I can do a near perfect vocal impression of a female blue whale with an injured dorsal fin giving birth.
I am a huge animal lover, I love to fire any kind of animal (except any of the big 5 or giraffes) from a sling I have manufactured in my back garden between two big trees, using the sling i once catapulted a grey squirrel all the way to Norway, granted I had sellotaped a dead magpie to its back with it's wings fixed in flying position with lollypop sticks and there was a strong tailwind, but still, I class that as my record.
My worst life experience was when I was chased by a drug lord in Addis Adaba in Ethiopia. I had recently purchased a vauxhall cavalier from the local car dealer, nice chap, think his name was Linny. Little did I know this cavalier had 2 boxes of UN emergency high protein biscuits in the boot which the drug lord had planked there thinking they would be safe as no one would buy a cavalier. Well these biscuits are as good as money over there so he was not happy and when he found out he tracked me down to the local orphanage where I was selling wham bars to the orphans. We argued on the street, it all got really heated with the locals showing support for this rogue, one old woman even came right up to my my face and spat in it and called me a hokabokidopabok, I decided to vacate the area asap, needless to say the druglord gave chase. I was in my cavalier and he was on a modified Raleigh Chopper with a lawnmower engine attached, hurtling down this desert highway at 7 miles per hour our duel ensued until I reached a UN roadblock and jumped out the car and informed them of this druglords evil plan to appropriate the high protein biscuits, thankfully he done a u turn and headed back down the desert road, his lawnmower engine not sounding healthy at all. I was greeted as a hero by the UN guys, they were really sound and the commander informed the higher ups in the UN about my humanity and I ended up being flown to New York where I was officially awarded the United Nations medal of honour.
Well thats really all lads, any questions just ask. Oh i'm also bi-sexual and support Morton.
